I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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