Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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