YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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