Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
FUCK WHALES
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