I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
