I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Randomize
