This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
