Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
jump out the window naked night went bad
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