He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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