let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
me + whiskey = a bad person
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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