dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
