I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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