I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
