She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
