I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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