VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
