Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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