hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
