My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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