i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
