It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
