I am full of burrito and curiosity
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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