I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
