woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
