areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize