i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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