mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Randomize
