thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
