you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
