did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
