if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
