You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
