btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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