I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
