Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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