I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
