There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
