I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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