Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
