I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
