I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize