you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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