yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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