Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
