i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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