If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
