? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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