Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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