Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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