You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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