the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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