I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Don't make out with my wife yet
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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