She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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